My Greatest Fear: Growing Up Alone

My greatest fear used to be growing up alone. My greatest fear was never finding my soul mate and growing old  while I attend my friends' receptions parties and get teased on by my parents on why I haven't found my true love yet. But this idea is starting to sound like a lot of bullshit.

As I continue to think critically about my life, I question myself: why do I need a significant other to be happy? Why do I need to find a "soul mate" to complete me? Is the word "soul mate" even real or is it something us as a society made up? What is "love" and how do you know when you're in "love"? What is "love" and why do we need it? People say you just simply know when you're in love but what if that is all psychological? Since we have this overarching presence of love everywhere, we just make our brains think that at a certain point in your relationship, you fall in "love", but I digress.

My biggest fear in life now is not living my life to the fullest. My biggest fear is not enjoying every second of my life no matter what it entails. I don't believe in an afterlife, so I feel even more inspired to live my life to the best of my ability. I have faith in humanity, that we will be the changing factors in shaping a better world. I believe in appreciating everything we have and our ability to make the best out of our opportunities.

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Relationships are like Peanut Butter and Jelly

"Relationships are like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You always start with two very different spreads but with at least one commonality. The Bread. The bread is what holds the differences together but allows for each to stand alone as well. But once you bring the two sides together, you can never really have the two original sides as you did when you first started making the sandwich. A little jelly will always stick to the peanut butter, and a little peanut will always stick to the jelly no matter how much you try to separate them. Like our hearts, once you have given even the smallest piece of it to someone else, you can never really have that piece back. It’s theirs. It’s theirs because you gave it to them. Sometimes bringing together the two sticky sides can make a real sweet snack, or it could be a sloppy mess of either too much jelly, or too much peanut butter. When you have too much of either spread, it means the other isn’t giving as much as the other is. Therefore, overpowering the beautiful potential of the other to really taste good as it should. And when there’s a PB&J casualty of either spread slipping out of the bread, sometimes it’s best to call it quits and start over. No one wants a leaky PB&J. No one wants a leaky heart to love. So when it’s all said and eaten (like my PB&J that I have in front of me as I’m typing this), be careful who and how you choose to give your heart to someone. But then again, you never know how delicious that sandwich might be if you never try to make it in the first place. So let your heart steer your knife, and let your conscious be the plate." 

-Alvin

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